Akank celebrated her 9th birthday with the same fervor that she did her 8th:-) Except this time around we hosted it at home. Akank decided her list of invitees and did not consult me on who was to be included. Surprisingly, she left out a few 'obvious' people that I imagined would never miss making it to her list. Of course she had her reasons why she had left them out. We had an energetic bunch of 9 year olds, soon - to - be 9 year olds and almost 10- year- olds at the party. We gave away 'Kungfu Panda' CD's to all her friends.  Akank got a Junior Pictionary, a scrabble board, another book on dog breeds of the world, a shirt,and a couple of other things.

Birthdays are fun. Even though they drain the organizer out.:-)

A sort of get-together was arranged by the apartment dwellers where my son Kumar is living, the excuse being the Second Anniversary of the Apartment's Day, to give vent to the unfulfilled desire or ambition of some of the amateurs to show-case their skills, which, they could not otherwise have had an occasion to exhibit.   In a way, such occasions afford, in sidelines, an opportunity to socialize and get to know each other in close quarters, as, in this urban-centric mechanical life-style, the folks in such apartments hardly find time to interact with each other..

Swathi, my 9 year-old grand-daughter, was one of the enthusiastic participants in this extravaganza called 'Culturals', among other elders and senior citizens.  She took part in three events

• Fashion Show
• Solo Dance
• Dressing up as Lord Krishna

I am confining myself to Swathi's items here for the sake of brevity without sacrificing the substance.
(i) Fashion Show: Swathi in a Western attire, walked in deliberately putting each foot-step on an imaginary straight line in a jerking style having her hands on her hips as in Fashion Parades.  In that event, a number of kids took part and each one was given just a few seconds to showcase their talents.  In fact, Swathi was practising many more styles which she could not perform on the stage!
 
(ii) Solo Dance:  Swathi was called to the dais for a solo dance for a Bharathiyaar's song which was pre-recorded into a CD in Swathi's own voice.  She appeared on the stage and was standing in a frozen "start-mode" to kickstart the dance as soon as the music was switched on.  But, the C.D. in which the song was recorded could not be traced by the organizers as they seemed to have misplaced it.  After ten minutes, Swathi was asked to get out by the moderators and instead the next programme in the agenda was taken up.  Poor Swathi was left standing all the while on the dais in the very same start-mode motionless, to the amusement of  the audience.
After the next number got over, Swathi was once again called to perform the dance.  This time the music in the C.D. was turned on, but, the song was not coming out well as the C.D. appeared to have developed some scratches! What played out was anything but the well-rendered song that it was originally!  Somehow, Swathi managed to finish her part, listlessly having suffered double jeopardy or humiliation for no fault on her part.



(iii) As her dance programme thus ended chaotically, not in the original order in the agenda, but a little later, her turn for the next programme in the agenda, disguising as Lord Krishna, ended up being the one immediately after!  She was asked to change to Krishna's costume in a hurry. Swathi's mom Anu, my daughter Radha and I helped Swathi with the make-up.  Radha combed her hair, tied a lock of hair into a bun up front, and inserted a peacock feather in it.  A flute was given to her to keep it over her lips.  I helped her to wear a dhothi in a panchakatcham style and put on some special jewels.  In the meantime, the moderators called out her name on the loudspeaker and asked her to appear on the dais.  In the melee, I forgot to put the most important mark of NAMAM in the forehead to complete the Krishna disguise! My son Manikandan rushed up to the dressing room and physically lifted Krishna (Swathi) in his arms and ran to the dais and left her there.  We followed her a little later after collecting the leftovers and waited in the venue to witness our Swathi as Krishna to appear on the dais to the full throated and thunderous applause of the  august audience.  But that was not to be.  To our great dismay and disappointment we learnt that Swathi had made a very brief appearance on the dais for a few seconds and had been asked to leave the stage to give way to the next programme in the agenda, even before we could reach the venue.  We could only see some old ladies in a chorus singing or rather reciting bhajans from a pre-written script in their hands, thus taking precedence over the young budding artist in Swathi.

I felt that the organizers had not bestowed sufficient thought to the feelings of young kids.  Such treatments meted out to young kids may even kill their enthusiasm and be counter-productive  When the elders and grown-ups took all the time in the world to showcase their so-called talent with little regard for the time-factor or to the fact whether it was well-received or not, should they not show some concern to the feelings of young kids?

Once the organizers thought it fit to vary or change or deviate the order in their agenda, to suit their convenience for the dance programme of Swathi, why could they not change the Krishna item also to a later-on slot to give her enough time to get ready with the Krishna attire? 

Is it not proper to draw the agenda in such a way that young kids perform first and elders at the end, so that young kids do not get worn-out or tired waiting for their turn? 

Swathi was trained for more than one month for the programme and she had put in a lot of efforts, but all were in vain at last. 

I shared my concern with my wife.  She retorted with a tinge of criticism coupled with a word of caution.  'If you are not able to organise such a thing, do not blame the one who organizes, for, it is easier said than done!  She also warned "If you write a blog post about such a thing, you are only doing harm to her and not a favour, for , she will be isolated or left out from the future programmes, which will be more painful than this"

My son, Sridhar Vembu, often uses a favourite phrase of his - "Logically Undecidable" - You can see examples here and here! So, I am not going to wait and see if she is right in her concern, I am going to play the experiment and check it out for myself!   

Hi there,

Just wanted to alert you about something interesting that's happening in Chennai next week.

I have attended this workshop myself, and would happily vouch for its usefulness and effectiveness. Yes, there is a slight hint of the religious, references to the Bible, and so on, but the lectures, videos, and the group discussions that we get a chance to participate in, are really worth the time and money.

The Good Parenting Workshop is designed for Parents with kids who are 12 years and under. The presentation involves the creative use of media and drama. They've conducted the workshop at Ashraya as well as in several schools in the city.

The key topics that the Good Parenting Workshop covers are:

-  The Parenting Process
-  How to Discipline Your Kids and Still Have them Love You
-  Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
-  Knowing Your Child's Love Language
-  Five Guaranteed Ways to Create a Brat
-  Working as a Team with Your Spouse

Their next Good Parenting Workshop is scheduled for Saturday, August 23rd from 4:15 to 9:30pm at Ashraya's Aminjikarai centre.
This is their address.
     Good Parenting Workshop
     Ashraya
     37, Nelson Manickkam Road
     Aminjikarai
     Chennai - 600 029

Or, visit this website for more details.
Click here for more details

Dated:  July 2008

When I notice a distinct improvement in Siddhu's functioning, I feel tempted to share his current regimen of interventions. Ofcourse, every child is unique, but perhaps, if you have a child with autism, you may have passed this phase sometime, or maybe at this phase at a future point in time. For what it is worth,  I wanted to share the details of his current environment and interventions.

Improvements:
He is at a point where I can take him to classes in the community, such as gym, art, etc and with me as aide, he is actually able to learn skills in a mainstream environment and eventually relate to the instructors, etc.
He can listen to music, and occupy himself using music or games like hitting a ball hanging from a ceiling, with a bat. To a stranger, he does not exhibit any obvious symptoms unless one attempted to have a conversation with him.
His pretend play has emerged (with play food, animals, doctors kits etc) but he still cannot imagine a series of events or an entire mission. His handwriting is neat and legible in print and is progressing to cursive.

Developmental gym programs have been extremely beneficial to him to enhance his balance, coordination, muscle strength etc. (Along with the mitochondrial support I describe below). The practice of art daily has helped him resolve his left/right perception, ratio and proportion and improve his eye tracking. His eye tracking ability is still not smooth which is affecting his ability to read.

Environmental changes:

• Minimized plastics in his environment, particularly in the kitchen.
• Minimizing EMF in the home: no cordless phones, getting a shielding canopy for the bed, switch off Wifi at night. (A site for products is http://www.lessemf.com)
  
• When he visits a potentially toxic place, like airports, malls with perfumes etc he comes home and has an epsom salt foot soak (with epsom salt, baking soda and Vit C).
• No chemical detergents, cleaners etc used in the home on anyone's clothes
• No chemicals in his food, mostly cooked from scratch.
• Occasional use of sauna and magnetic clay foot soaks.

Diet:

• A mild simplification of Body Ecology Diet http://www.bodyecologydiet.com - all grains soaked and sprouted, addition of raw foods
• Raw drink everyday: one fruit (mango or papaya), veggies: cabbage, spinach, soaked almond or cashew, some broccoli sprouts, celery, a fermented coconut drink and chia seeds,
  
• A serving of cultured veggies/saurkraut everyday

Mitochondrial support:

•  NT factor (Energy) by Researched Nutritionals, CoQ10, acetyl-L-carnitine, NADH.

Detox support:

• Periodical rounds of IV chelation with CaEDTA (and glutathione, Vit C)
• Cilantro and chlorella protocol (just getting started)
• Daily Pectasol Chelation Complex by Ecogenics after pathogen targetting herbals.

Targetting pathogens:

• Candida protocol from http://www.modernherbalist.com
  
• Herbal suggestions from Healing Lyme by Stephen Buhner (Catsclaw, Resveratrol,  Stephania)
• Rotation of probiotics: VSL3, Lactobacillus Sporagenes, Mindlinx, Klaire Labs Detox Support, Klaire Labs therbiotic factor 4.
• Immunological treatment: IVIG infusion
• TSO Helminthic therapy http://www.ovamed.org

General nutritional support:

• Highly nutrient dense food including soaked grains, coconut oil, almonds etc.
• Multivitamin/mineral geared towards ASD kids such as http://www.brainchildnutritionals.com Spectrum Support
• Cod liver oil, fish oil, flax seeds etc.

Growth factor proteins:

• FGF2 and other proteins.

Other progams of educational nature:

• Neurofeedback - helping him learn to listen to music, watch some videos etc.
• Video modelling for play - http://www.teach2play.com It taught him that its ok to say that an animal is wearing a stethoscope etc, taught him that pretending is ok, which hopefully will lead to flexible thinking.
  
• Gym - http://www.thelittlegym.com and http://www.mygym.com have been great in teaching mainstreaming skills: everything except academics, including waiting for turns, following group instructions, imitation skills etc. The exercises that probably help left, right brain integration have been great too.(Cross pattern walks etc). Look at http://www.braingym.com for more exercises of that nature.
  
• Art - both classes and home practice have helped him learn the ability to copy a picture, with correct orientation and proportion. It seems to build eye tracking and impulse control as well, apart from fine motor coordination.
• Handwriting: I found this program very useful: http://www.retrainthebrain.com He can print legibly now and is moving to cursive.
• RDI (Relationship Development Intervention): http://www.rdiconnect.com
• We are trying out a reading program based on the Lindamood-Bell method. I hope that it will help him move to the next level in reading.

If you have read this far, you probably have a child with autism. Hope you found something useful on this blog, I admire your perseverence, I dont know how everybody does it. Please keep going. Every day, close your eyes and picture your child, independent, competent, helpful, and feeling happy about his accomplishments. It will happen.

S1 (the six-year-old) has been going to an art class for the past few weeks. This is a picture he drew with oil pastels when learning how to draw a face:
A couple of folks have, unprompted, asked if it was me. So, he now claims it is a picture of me, mustache, glasses and all. Even the green hair could be arranged, I suppose.

This one is one of my favorites. S1 says it's a picture of some monsters fighting: His pictures all have monsters in them. I have the sneaking suspicion that he must have started out his portrait aiming to draw a monster, only it turned out to look like me!

Here is a narration, which explains why one should never give up and how transformations can happen.

One day I decided to quit...
 
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo see.
I would not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But  just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong
and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots"
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise" He asked in return.
"As high as it can" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and bring back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never give up.

Patty and her friend Marianne loved to play with their dolls. Patty  would make a doll house out of a cardboard box and pretend it was a fancy house with decorations. Marianne liked to play with her babies. She wrapped them in thin brown papertowels.

"See, these are soft and my babies love them," she told me.

Patty ignored her friend. She sat her dolls in the cardboard box. The dolls wore old clothes but Patty didn't care. Marianne tried to dress Patty's dolls but Patty wouldn't have it.

When I observed Patty and Marianne they were seven. Their parents knew one another from work. Patty's mother was thrilled that someone would play with her daughter.

"Patty has autism and few friends. Her teachers don't get it. They think she is not capable."

Patty's mom was impatient. She knew Patty had abilities and talents. She was tired of the teachers telling her what Patty couldn't do.

The new friendship between Patty and Marianne thrilled her.

"They are really friends," the mother told me.

I watched the friends.

They knew how to play together and they did it so well.

Play scholars.

 

 

So it is holidays for Kids and as parents you will be thinking on where to take you kids.
Here is one spot, I feel you kids shouldn't miss.
Season of Love
St. George’s Anglo Indian School (close to Pachayappa college)
Poonamallee High Road

Dates: from 20th of December 2007 and will be open for the next 7 days
Timing: 10:00 AM - 9:00 PM

What do you get to see?
A 100 meter long cake, where they are planning to break the record.
A 65 foot long Christmas Tree
Apart from that you have 150 and odd stalls to keep your family busy. (toys, food and lots more)
The best part would be that you are spending quality time and money for your family.

BTW, here is are two cents if you want to commute. Don't think about taking your car, just pick up an auto rickshaw. You will save lot of time and energy.
Do enjoy with your family.