Mridu got an invitation to come to tea at her best friend Elizabeth's house. I picked her up from school at 3 pm and went straight to Lizzie's house. Inspite of living in England for 4 and a half years, I was still confused as to what an invitation to tea was. Last week I had invited Lizzie and her mum for a tea at our place and I gave them just that - tea and tea biscuits. Only when I went to their's for tea did I realise that the English's equivalent to tea is our "dinner". But you would hardly call it that, because who in India would have dinner at 4 pm? Apparently the English do!! So there we landed for tea and we were served jacket potatoes, salad and a pudding. I politely picked on some of the greens, apologising at the same time for misunderstanding what "tea" was! The English raise their kids very differently. They are expected to say "Please" and "Thank you" at all times and their behaviour has to be impeccable with guests. How do they manage it???!!! I found Lizzie most polite and courteous. And here was Mridu on the other hand, all loud and boisterous...mother of all embarassments, she even had a temper tantrum while she was there. Glaringly contrasting behaviours from 2 kids of the same age. I spent the rest of the evening (and night...oh yeah, had a sleepless night) wondering if I was bringing her up the right way. Does she need more disciplining? what if she turns into an uncontrollable teenager? Can she/should she be like Lizzie or is this her personality? She is aggressive, rebellious and assertive by nature, even as a baby. That part of her personality I have no control of. But where should I start and where to stop? At the same time, is Lizzie's mum bringing her up the right way? Are they hindering a child's natural instincts to shout, jump around and have fun by having so many rules and boundaries? I would never know the answers to these maybe...in the meanwhile I will continue to bring up my daughter the best way I can and if she grows into a kind and compassionate woman, (albeit an agressive one, thats for sure!), with a decent set of values, I will consider my job well done! :-)

It's been a 4 year gap...What prompted me to write again? A comment from a visitor....I logged in to see what the comment was about, and to my shock, realised that I just didn't remember the events that I had recorded when Mridula was a baby!!! It was also such a pleasure to read it and I could visualise Mridu reading about herself years later and she would be so pleased! :-)

So here I go, hoping to be a regular henceforth..

Mridula turns 5 this November. She has just started school. The first day of school is more of an excitement for the parents. I found myself waking up an hour early though I needn't have. The uniform had already been neatly arranged the previous night. Though Venkat and I tried not to get Mridu too anxious, we heard ourselves mentioning next day school a little too often. By the way, Mridu has turned out to be a confident and extremely sociable little girl. She has no trouble making friends and is already showing interest in counting and mathematics. Ofcourse she wants to be a princess when she grows up, like thats a job :-) She also plans to live in a castle and wait for a handsome prince. Her world is one of pink and purple!

so coming back to first day at school...the morning arrived and everyone got ready before needed. She looked all neat and pretty in her new school uniform and felt like a big girl too. As we left her in school, I remembered the Abba song " school bag in hand she leaves home in the early morning, waving goodbye with an absent minded smile"...and I couldn't help stop the tear that trickled down my eye...

more later...

We had been to a friend's place for dinner.

I was really not too sure how Mridu was going to behave. I knew she would be ok for awhile, but after that she usually wants to go out, wants a change of place (but definitely not back home). That has been her usual pattern whenever I have taken her out to someone's home.
Last evening she surprised me. She was so happy througout the evening and was actually on everyone's lap, wanting them to read to her. and talk to her  My clingy little daughter was actually going to everyone else and having fun. And I never thought that was ever going to happen. A few months back, she wouldn't leave my side or arms even to go to dad. Though she used to love to be amidst people, I would have to be the person to read to her, to play and dance with her.

These days daddy is allowed to read a story book and take her out swimming, mummy's friend is allowed to carry her or help her get dressed and a new uncle/aunty is allowed to feed to her. Which is just so amazing!!!!!!

As I see her growing everyday, I see her being more independent and enjoying the company of others. Which is such a wonderful thing to watch. On the one hand I am happy that she is able to have fun on her own in the company of others, and on the other hand, she is giving me a much needed breather....something I was longing for ages.

My little princess is growing up so soon. Am I going to miss her pessessive nature? Nah, I don' t think so.....or do I already?

It's been long since I was here. Actually I was gone for a few months and couldn't blog regularly. But the actual reason is that I just didn't get myself to do it faithfully. Which I don't want to be anymore. Which is why I am going to start blogging regularly again. Honestly, I got inspired by reading another blog of a friend of mine just sometime back. It was beautiful.

Update on Mridu - She is now 2 years and 4 months old, we are planning to put her in nursery soon, because she gets very very bored at home. She is as lovable as ever, as inquisitive as ever and as smart as ever.

I am trying to find an appropriate school for her, which I have had little success with so far.

Yesterday's appointment at Stretton school was good. Mridu has been used to going away to school for a few hours in India (I just came back from an India vacation). She saw this particular school and was so happy, she immediately ran inside and started playing with all the toys. The teacher there was visibly impressed with her language skills and her ability to communicate whatever she wanted.
But this school isn't fitting into our budget!! :-(
And the other school we like, and which fits into our budget, is too far away.

Now the question is, do we move home closer to Sunningdale (the other nice school) or do we not mind the fees and put her in Stretton. With a kid, life is all about decisions, decisions and decisions.

On the other hand, it is such a joy to see this little angel of a girl, happily prancing around, unmindful of all the complexities of the world.

Will write more later. My princess has woken from her nap!

She is into singing these days, favourites being "twinkle twinkle little star" and "baa baa black sheep". And what a joy it is! The words are all broken but the tunes are definitely there, and very accurate too.

Her favourite time to try out her singing prowess is on the push chair, when she has nothing else to do. At traffic signals, at the supermarket, oblivious to the people watching and appreciating.  She can really keep herself entertained and it somewhat makes me so proud to watch that. I am happy that she has an ear for music and I hope she always does.

I often wonder to myself if she will take up singing seriously (something that I didn't do and feel bad about sometimes). Something my mom wanted me to do when I was a child. Now I wish and dream for my daughter to pursue music. And now I know what my mother would have felt about me!

 

Haven't blogged in a while.

Mridu is fine after her fracture. She is back to her old routine now. Just that summer won't last too long and I already have to start thinking about how she is going to be occupied in winter. Good thing is, we would be in India for the worst part of winter and really looking forward to that.

She seems to be talking so much these days. Questions a lot, asks "what that?" for everything. I think very soon, I will have to be brushing up my general knowledge if I have to tell her the right answers :-)

These days, when she sees something that excites her, she says, "wow, look at that!". Initially, you wonder if you've heard her right, and then you know she is really saying that!

Maybe I'll start recording all the things she says. Would be such fun to play it back to her later, after she's grown.

Mridu had a bad fall last Thursday. To the extent that her arm is now in a sling. Turned out to be a nasty fracture that needed surgery under anaesthesia to get corrected.
The past few days have been tough on us. We have been in and out of hospital. She has to be in a cast for the next 6 weeks (phew!!!, seems like such a long time).

She is being treated like a queen! Lots of visitors, lots of toys and sweets. Turns out that she realises everything. These days she wants me to rock her to sleep again!!! (and I thought I just said goodbye to rocking). I realise we need to be gentle and caring and at the same time firm about certain things. Isn't parenting a never ending learning process. You think you have crossed one hurdle and the next one is just round the corner!

She has a real cute bandage though. It has colourful teddy bears on it!

My daughter's name is Mridula and we call her Mridu. She is all of 18 months and has us totally wrapped around her little finger.

Now that she is a proper toddler, the topic of disciplining almost automatically follows. Inspite of apparently being "prepared" for a tantrum, (we have been doing a lot of reading and there's this show called Supernanny on TV that we watch) we are invariably caught off guard when it actually happens.

I have been totally amazed to see kids in the UK being so disciplined which I don't see in Indian households (including mine)
I guess it is a conflict between guilt feelings versus being strict that doesn't work out. Consistency is the key and how quickly children get the point. You would be so surprised to see how quickly they learn to manipulate parents and from there all the trouble starts.

While struggling with these thoughts and how to go about them, I come across this book "How to Talk so children will listen and how to listen so children will talk". This book talks about a whole new way of getting children to do things and behave well (without considering punishment as an option). Has anyone read this? if not I would recommend it to all parents. Am planning to buy a copy of one myself. I think it would be ever useful.

Now I have to wait and see if the methods work for my daughter! (or rather, am I going to be able to do this well?)