| Demoralized about Moralities.. |  |
| Demoralized about Moralities.. |  |
In an earlier blog-post, I was mentioning about deterioration of moral standards in general. I was not just being pessimistic, or quoting myths from out of thin air. But, I cannot turn a blind eye to what is happening around me which leads to the irresistible and irrefutable conclusion that everything is not alright.
A little distance away, one would find a cab driver engaged in petrol theft from the tourist taxi in his custody, with the help of a hose pipe, emptying the petrol from the tank in the car to a container without the knowledge of the owner of the cab. He thus makes some bucks by cheating the owner of the cab.
If you go further down, you will come across the driver of a milk van committing theft of milk in a bottle. After supplying milk to the self-vending milk booth from the tanker, whatever little remaining in the hose pipe is collected in a bottle and sold by the driver to gain some extra bucks.
Let us ignore all the above and proceed further, though. And what do you see? You would find theft of bricks! The loaders while loading bricks from the kiln, deliberately load some extra bricks discreetly. After delivery at the consumer's site, the extra available bricks will be sold to a firewood depot for half of its price, unduly benefiting both the loaders and the firewood depot owner in that process, at a direct loss to the kiln owner and consumer. The resultant spoils are shared between the loaders and the driver.
The above are almost an everyday early morning spectacle. They will set any right-thinking man to ponder where our society is headed! There is of course a minuscule minority who are die-hard honest among these unscrupulous. My friend and I were, busy at our office with our work and hence unable to stir out, requested a rustic gardener to fetch some snacks and tea from a nearby restaurant, as our own attendant was not readily available. He complied with our request. We offered him some tips. He flatly refused to receive it saying that it is his duty to go on an errand and he cannot accept tips for that; though it was not part of his job at all! He stood tall in the crowd in our estimation.
Mr.Narayanamurthy of Infosys has recalled an incident in the course of an interview to the press wherein he said that in a village in Tanjore District (where he was attending a function) he saw a poor, fragile and aged person. On independent enquiry he found out that he had nobody to support him at his advanced age and he was eking out his livelihood by conducting religious rites in the houses of Brahmins. Taking pity, Mr.Murthy offered financial help to him to alleviate his poverty. He gently refused to accept it saying that he is happy with what he has and he needs no more than what he earns. Mr.Murthy, a kind-hearted man, was touched and appreciated his self-pride and had all admiration for his simplicity and contentment.
For my wife, the panacea for all ills is to write Ramajayam mantra. (That would not come as any news to you, if you had been reading my blog, particularly the last two posts!) She has been writing this mantra right from her childhood. She has a suitcase full of note books with the mantra written by her. Before her marriage, her prayer was to get a good husband. I only hope what she got fits her bill! After marriage, she continued to write for the welfare of our children and for the betterment of my official career, everyday for nearly six hours a day. Nowadays, she stopped it, probably because she thinks she has accomplished all her aspirations or because she has no time for it, as she spends almost six hours a day before the T.V. worrying about the characters in the serials as to what is going to happen to them in the next episode etc!
If this is not a degradation, then what else?
If this is not a degradation, then what else?
If at all you attribute this fall in value to any one cause, I would say it is the effect or result of clamping of Emergency on our country by Prime Minister Mrs. Indra Gandhi to save herself from being unseated in the wake of adverse judgment by Allahabad High Court in the Election Petition filed by Mr.Raj Narayan. That, in my opinion, set the tone for the downfall of values.
In Tamil Nadu, we find poor people literally dying for the freebies handed out by our Government. Is it not good economics to teach the poor how to fish rather than giving them fish, free of cost? Besides, this amounts to insulting the self-respect of the individuals.
In the olden days, the common belief was:- In Tamil Nadu, we find poor people literally dying for the freebies handed out by our Government. Is it not good economics to teach the poor how to fish rather than giving them fish, free of cost? Besides, this amounts to insulting the self-respect of the individuals.
"If wealth is lost, nothing is lost;
If health is lost, something is lost: and
If character is lost, everything is lost."
It was said "All is fair in love and war". This dictum appears to have engulfed all spheres of activities these days... :-(
Looking for images to decorate this blogpost with, I found this one, that seemed so appropriate, though from a different religion from mine.
That, exactly, is the problem with the current generation. They know the rules, but they want exceptions to each of them too! :-(
| Shri Ram's Messenger - Hanuman! | |
| Shri Ram's Messenger - Hanuman! | |
In my previous post, I had tried some inane wordplay on the words "Shram" (hard work, in Sanskrit) and "Shriram" (Ramayana's hero). The turn of events soon after the blogpost happened, makes me want to write more on that same subject. So, read on for some strange and interesting coincidences!
After I prepared the draft for the blog about my getting a memento on my son"s behalf from his school, news came that my son's company Zoho was adjudged to receive "The Best Enterprise Start-up of the year" Award instituted by The Crunchies about which I mentioned at the end of the post, as an update. The graphic image at the end of that post, was a photograph of Sridhar with the Award.
The monolithic statue (trophy) was created using very hard very heavy cast plastic of an ape with a bone in its hand, symbolizing that the ape was beating old technology with a bone in prehistoric days, to convey the message that new technocrats come up with new technologies to conquer the existing ones.
In the photograph of Sridhar with the Award, under the platform supporting the ape, the Sri Ramajayam Mantra in Sanskrit was included by Raj, as I referred in that blog about my wife writing that mantra for the sake of Sridhar's success in his scholastic career.
Thus, each one of the above acts were unconnected and done by different individuals. But, in hindsight, I am inclined to interpret it in my own way. My wife was invoking Ram for Sridhar's success. I am an ardent Rama Baktha, in that I have been reciting the Sundara Kandam in Ramayana every day for the last 30 years or more. The Sundara Kanda signifies Anjeneya's (a monkey-faced God) good and valiant deeds. The most central character in Ramayana is Anjeneya and he is widely worshipped by Hindus all over the world.
To my mind, my prayer to Rama has been answered symbolically. My son getting the monolith with ape and Raj's inclusion of a Ramajayam in Sanskrit though altogether in a different context, is a great benevolent act of grace bestowed on my son in answer to my prayers. If the creator of the monolith wanted to convey a message symbolically, I want to interpret it symbolically in my own way conforming to my beliefs! I firmly believe that my Lord Ram through his Chief and first-ever devotee Anjeneya came to bless my son in all his endeavours. If the creator of the monolith included the bone in the hands of the ape as a tool or weapon, I would like to see it as the Gadhai (mace) in the hands of Anjeneya. For me, the monolith is not a mere Award but God Anjeneya Himself.
Anjeneya is considered by Hindus as the God of Knowledge. Software being a knowledge-based industry, the trophy given is appropriate in that perspective as well.
I may sound irrational, but being one who believes in the maxim that God helps his devotees through living beings, I would like to have it as above.
Mr.Michal Arrington would not have thought of this angle when he conceived the design for his Award. Many many thanks to him, for his design most aptly fits into my belief.
Curiousity made me dig further into the true origins of the ape in the award. Seems, it is based on a heartstopping moment in a very famous movie of yesteryears, called 2001 - A Space Odyssey, directed by Stanley Kubrick, based on the book of the same name by Arthur Clarke. Enjoy the very scene from the movie where this scene happens. See below.
| Shriram or Shram? You decide!! | |
| Shriram or Shram? You decide!! | |
This time, the thing that caught his attention was a memento recently received (on l3th Jan. to be precise) It was given in honour of my son Sridhar by his school on the occasion of the Inaugural Function and Alumni Day. I explained that to him, thinking that would suffice. He continued his interrogation though, and asked me why of all the alumni ,Sridhar uncle had been chosen. I told him that he was the star student of the school and in his school days (25 years ago) he was a State Rank Holder too. On those days, the critics used to opine that such top-performing creme-de-la-creme, in an unexplainable herd mentality, after schooling and after graduating from prestigious institutions like the I.I.Ts, would go to the U.S, do a Ph.D. from well-known Universities, and settle down as Professors there, thus causing what was then called the "Brain Drain". It was also alleged that they felt shy to venture taking risks in life and build sterling enterprises of their own. I told Aditya that Sridhar, defying such widely-held notions, started his own venture after his brilliant academic career in I.I.T and then at Princeton University, generating immense job opportunities to the local community and thus while rising his stock in life was and is helping many others to make a mark too and that the memento was in recognition of these achievements of his.
Sometimes I think, these kids don't listen to us when talking. They are just busy framing their next question. For, no sooner did I finish, pat came the next question:- "Why then was it given to you and not to Sridhar uncle?"I told him that as Sridhar could not make it to the function since he had some pressing work in the U.S. and the organizers could not postpone the function that had already been arranged, I was invited and given the memento in his absence, though in the invitation card it was Sridhar's name that was printed.
I took all these pains to tell all the above details to him, in order to motivate him to perform well in his scholastic career just like his illustrious uncle.
We are sometimes guilty of not letting know the kids about some important things in our life keeping them ignorant, though not intentionally but out of a careless attitude. Thanks to the Parenting Blogs at Jambav - it affords space to record some such worthwhile matters for the benefit of our progeny!
One thing I want to make clear in this regard is that, in my considered opinion, there is nothing wrong in the best brains taking up the teaching assignments. I do welcome such trends, since it is only such best brains that can bring out the best from aspiring youngsters and mould them to suitably serve our nation. I do not dispute at the same time that entrepreneurs also contribute to the society in their own way.
Moreover, I felt somewhat embarrassed to be at the function on my son's behalf and be a recipient of showers of praises as an "illustrious father of an illustrious son", as though I was responsible for all his attainments! No doubt, I feel very proud of him. But, to be frank, I played no part at all in his achievements. If at all he has achieved anything, and has risen in society, it is all of his own making and his own efforts and I contributed very little towards his progress. To give me credit for something I did not deserve is quite an embarrassment for me and I felt guilty to be praised on that count.
But then, my wife, on the other hand, can lay claim for some praise! She used to write "Sri Ramajayam Mantra" while my sons were writing their examinations praying for their outstanding performance! Sridhar would remark on her efforts that "if not for anything else, atleast for you and for your toil, I will achieve!". I told Aditya also about this!
The mischievous fellow silenced me saying: "Thatha, the greatest help you did him was that you did not put a spoke in the wheel and deter him in his attempts or say nay for all his efforts. So you also deserve the praise".
UPDATE:- As I finished typing this blog post, news sweet as honey reaches me, that Sridhar"s company Zoho, an offshoot of AdventNet, has been adjudged as the "Best Enterprise Start-up" of the year 2007 and Sridhar was honoured with an Award at San Francisco instituted by The TechCrunch Group, a Tech-Blog that tracks the fortunes of New Age Corporations. Way to go, sonny boy!
| Not few are the perils of being a Grandpa! | |
| Not few are the perils of being a Grandpa! | |
Last month, all my family members assembled at my native village, including four of my grand-kids for the engagement ceremony (betrothal) of my brother's daughter. For a change, it was arranged at my ancestral village house, as we were all tired of the stereo-type, business-like, adventureless and showy functions in city halls, which are performed by professional contractors on payment of ridiculous sums of money without the physical involvement of any of us. They lack the personal touch of the hosts, I say!
At our village, it is refreshingly different, in that you have to plan everything yourself, from the provision of necessary vessels for cooking, purchase of vegetables, milk, grocery, arranging furniture for guests, lighting so on and so forth. Even Pandals (makeshift roofing) had to be put up for the occasion. But, the whole village would be behind you with a helping hand, sharing your burden as though it was their own function. And, at the end of the day, there is a mental satisfaction that a good job was accomplished, besides the thrill factor in arranging such extravaganza.
More than that, the kids enjoyed their stay at the village house immensely. My son Sridhar, when he was a kid would always complain that in Chennai he could not find pillars in houses as in the village houses for him to hug and swing around. I now realise how true it is!
This time around, Swathi(8 yrs.), Sanjay (4 yrs.) Sneha (3 yrs.) and Shreya (2yrs.) all made good use of the pillars in the house, climbing up to the rooftop and swinging from the wooden plank and made merry. They all showed their latent gymnastic skills.
On the crucial day of the function, at the peak of activity, in the full glare of a dozen still-cameras, a video camera and in the presence of the gathered guests and visitors from both families, all my grand-kids took their seats by my side - I do not know whether by design or accident! - and started their pranks. Sanjay jumped up and sat on my shoulders. Sneha untied my neatly combed Kudumi! Swathi tried pulling my shirt and angavastram! Shreya got hold of my cell phone and started tampering with it, while Sanjay sitting on my shoulder started grabbing my spectacles. In between all this, the purohit (priest) kept interrupting me for his dakshina (minor monetary offering) every now and then, for, I was entrusted with the cash by my brother and was given the duty of tracking expenses during the function. Once my grand-kids realized that the attention of the guests were focussed on them, they felt encouraged to repeat their pranks, whenever I tried to regain my composure. I was thus reduced to a mere puppet in their hands!
 |
My cousin, in order to rescue me from their clutches and divert their attention, asked Shreya "Who is this?" pointing his finger at me. Shreya had no hesitation in answering him "Voombo Jakkal"! Sanjay in an attempt to correct her said "No Shreya. Voombo Dadaba Jakkal", meaning "Vembu Badava Rascal" (Badava loosely translates to "mischeivous rascal"). I used to call them with this pet name "Dadaba Jakkal". They were just paying me back in the same coin! I was literally made a laughing stock in the presence of the distinguished guests. I was in a pathetic helpless state. Their respective mothers (my daughters-in-law) might have felt happy that they were spared! The attention of the guests were focussed on me and my plight and they seem ed to visibly enjoy my predicament! The photographers had a field day clicking every prank of my dear grand-kids. I had to bittersweetly grit through it all!
My cousin was provoked to say that I was a very patient man indeed. What else could I do? As a matter of fact, I really enjoyed all that in my heart of hearts, for, it is I who was the centre of attraction and had stolen the limelight in the function and not the bride or the groom, thanks to my grand-kids. The next day, after all the hullabaloo was over, myself, Sanjay and Swathi were swinging on a wooden swing, hanging from the roof with the support of four iron chains at the four corners of the plank. I was sitting and I made the swing go back and forth with my feet. Swathi was lying on it with a pillow supporting her head. Sanjay was standing and jumping holding two of the iron chains in one end of the swing. All of a sudden the swing gave way in one end and fell with a big noise. I found myself sliding and sitting on the floor. Swathi was on the floor in the same lying posture. Sanjay slipped down standing with one of the iron chains circling his leg. Fortunately, all of us escaped unhurt. What happened was one of the chains in the swing had given way as a weak link in that was broken in the friction. Can anyone get such an experience in a city house?
The betrotal was preceded by unseasonal torrential rains for a couple of days. The function was on the 16th Dec. The main guests were expected on the l5th itself. On 13th and 14th there was non-stop rain. We were all a bit worried about the function and about the inconvenience that may be caused to our guests. The Chief Cook who arrived on the 14th night in the midst of heavy rain, had offered a solution. The first thing he did was to break a coconut and throw it on the Pandal, saying that the rain would stop. What a wonder? There was not a drop of rain on the whole of 15th and 16th and the function went off without any hitch and all the guests returned fully satisfied! But, strangely, from 17th onwards for four days, there was very heavy non-stop pouring of rain, flooding the whole district causing heavy loss to men and materials and keeping all of us indoors. We all praised the Chief-Cook for the solution he had offered for stopping the rain on crucial days.
But, my wife made a counter-claim. For her part, she had drawn a Kolam (colorful design with rice powder, usually reserved for functions such as these!) in the center of the open backyard and placed a grinding stone on it and admonished the rain to stop. She thus claimed credit for the stoppage of rain on the crucial days. Anyway, the native village folk seem to have their own solutions not only for getting timely rains, but also to stop the unwanted excessive rains.
The organizers of cricket matches may take a useful clue to stop rains on match days, to avoid disappointment to the crazy cricket fans. (Or, going by the Indian team's performance these days, probably BRING rain in a timely fashion so that the match may be abandoned when faced with certain defeat!) If required I offer to depute either my cook or my wife or both for that purpose!
At the end, my grand-kids enjoyed their stay in full measure in my company, leave alone their mischievous pranks, which gave me immense joy, and made the days I spent there memorable!
| From A Rockin' Marriage to Marriage On The Rocks!? | |
| From A Rockin' Marriage to Marriage On The Rocks!? | |
|
This blog-post is the continuation of an earlier one, where I have reserved my views on the durability of arranged marriages versus one decided by the concerned couples themselves in recent times. |
In the former case, the elders in the family made a thorough check about the family background, compatibility levels between the couple, character of the individual etc. Besides, horoscope also played a part. Some marriages were fixed and performed just on the basis of good omen.
Reams and reams were written as to why there are plenty of failed marriages in recent times. The attempt here is not to analyze the merit or demerit of arranged marriages or the other kinds of marriages. One thing that is not very clear to my mind is why a marriage that was solemnized in recent times after a great deal of deliberation between the concerned couples regarding their respective attitudes, tastes , habits, character, family background, economic status and what not and after each other moving intimately for a long time entering into such wedlock with their eyes wide open, should end up as a failure at the drop of a hat. Equally, it is baffling as to how even a clumsily arranged marriage in olden days had gone on from strength to strength in a very happy note. Is it because that certain sacredness or divinity had been attached to the institution of marriage or a very strong commitment was made or felt by each one to make the marriage succeed at any cost?
From my school days, I know a person leading a very happy successful married life with his wife who was not bestowed with good I.Q; nor was she good looking. She was short in stature (almost a dwarf). She was totally illiterate. She did not even cook for him, like most housewives do. But the man was very intelligent and a learned Pandit. He was a very jovial man, cracking jokes and everyone who came into contact with him would like his company immensely. One day, I asked him how he happened to get married to her. He replied that when his wife's parents came to his house proposing for him, a cow standing outisde his house urinated and his parents took it as a good omen and fixed the marriage, as, in their opinion, she would hence bring luck and prosperity to him. The Pandit accordingly married her and the marriage was consummated and in due course a baby boy was born to her. The boy turned out to be very intelligent and good looking. He ultimately graduated himself with flying colors and was well-placed in life. The Pandit and his wife lived a fully successful married life. According to him, if the object of union of couple is to beget good progeny, that, he has achieved. Though the Pandit had hundred and one reasons to abort the marriage, he did not resort to that.
My marriage, a successful and happy one looked at from any angle, arranged by my elders, was the result of a mistaken identity. This needs a separate treatment. I am just mentioning it to drive home my point about durability of marriages. 
Now, coming to the alarming rate of failed marriages in recent times (one decided by the couples themselves without the intervention of any third party) I wonder is it because of general erosion of values? Or is there something lacking in our educational system like lack of moral instructions or character building? Or, is it because the elders or teachers do not set themselves as a good role model for the youth to follow or emulate? Or, is it because that today's youth have no respect for anything or anyone and questions every institution, every authority, every belief and every custom? Or, is it because of the corrupting influence of T.V.and the Internet - cinema not excluded? I think the above might have jointly or severally been responsible for the state of affairs we are in today.
In olden days, people valued some kind of permanence and stuck to the same job, house and better-half, as they believed in the saying 'Rolling stone gathers no moss'. Today, the youngsters have no compunction in changing their job, abodes, or even spouses!
What with technological revolutions, spread of so-called education, tremendous progress made in every field like science, medicine etc. they do not appear to contribute to the elevation of the mental well-being of individuals or to reduce the tension, stress, violence or appeasement of sub-human urges or instincts or to improve one's orientation towards higher values, compassion to fellow human being, social responsibilities, selflessness and other good traits of an individual.
Where are we heading? - These are the stray agonizing thoughts of a concerned old man. | What gift would you want, my child? | |
| What gift would you want, my child? | |
Last Sunday, my beloved grand-daughter Swathi celebrated her eighth birthday at Pizza Corner, Velachery. Actually, her birthday had fallen a couple of days earlier on Friday. But she had gotten it postponed to suit our (myself and my wife's) convenience, as we were away at my village on that Friday. We really felt touched at her gesture. To top it all, she fed my wife with the first piece of birthday cake and I was very next in line. It needs no mention how elated we were on knowing how intensely she loves us and accorded a V.I.P.treatment to us. Our eyes were filled with joyful tears. There is no word to adequately describe our happiness and joy.
If Swathi had thus showered her love on us, Sanjay, the three year old grand-son, did not lag very far behind either. When the time to depart came, Sanjay, Swathi's cousin, came to us and in an authoritative tone commanded that we visit him at Perungudi for five days. We were thrilled and overwhelmed by the affection and love shown by our grand-kids.
A couple of years ago, I was in the U.S. with my eldest son. One day I met an old gentleman (70 plus Bangalorian) while I was on my morning stroll. He introduced himself to me and in due course of time, we became good friends sharing our personal experiences. He told me that he was living with his son and daughter-in-law, that they hardly found time to interact or converse with him, that even his six year old grand-daughter ignored him when he attempted to talk with her saying "You old man, mind your own business! Don't waste my time!!", and that he felt isolated, insulted and humiliated in his own house and was living in hell being an unwanted and uncared for commodity, and that once he comes out of his house, he would be wandering aimlessly spending all his waking hours away from his house. He said that he expected nothing much more than kind words from his near and dear. I had to console him and advise him to take it in his stride.
I am of the opinion that it is her (the girl's) parents who are to be blamed and if only they respect the elders, the young one will naturally follow suit.Contrast this with the kind of love and affection we are fortunate to get from our grand-kids!
It is not as if it was an incident-free birthday for me, though! Or that there were no embarrassing moments in store for me. My brother-in-law's daughter, Suganya, who attended the function, mentioned about my blog-posts in the presence of my wife and told her that no blog-post is complete without a reference to my wife! My wife immediately became fumed and asked her what nonsense I am writing about her. Before Suganya could divulge the real purport and import of the references I made in my blog-posts about my wife, I managed to impress her that it is only in complimentary terms I made such references and thus saved myself from further trouble. Thanks to Suganya, she, taking the clue, came to my rescue without indulging further on the subject.
This set me to think how durable and strong the bond of marriages were in olden days comparing with how fragile they are today, despite the fact the marriage are decided by the concerned couples themselves.This will form the nucleus to my next blog-post.
In earlier years, Swathi used to evince great interest in collecting gifts from her friends. If someone delayed offering the gifts they brought, Swathi will snatch them from their hands. Her mom Anu would find it hard to control her from unpacking the gift-packs in the presence of the guests. Her friends too, would be waiting equally eagerly for the moment when Swathi gives them 'return-gifts'! There was no inhibition on their part to demand the return-gift if anyone was left out due to oversight, and to have it exchanged, if the return-gift was not to their taste or satisfaction.
This year though, Swathi has become more mature and polished to the extent that when my wife asked Swathi a week earlier about what gifts she needs, pat came the reply that it is enough if we attend her B.Day and she needs no gifts at all! Or, is this some kind of preteen ploy of a clever girl, who knows that to get a very good gift, one needed to impress, and to impress in the best possible manner, one had to say one needed no gifts? Hmmm.... Strange are the ways of children, stranger still, those of grandchildren!
This year though, Swathi has become more mature and polished to the extent that when my wife asked Swathi a week earlier about what gifts she needs, pat came the reply that it is enough if we attend her B.Day and she needs no gifts at all! Or, is this some kind of preteen ploy of a clever girl, who knows that to get a very good gift, one needed to impress, and to impress in the best possible manner, one had to say one needed no gifts? Hmmm.... Strange are the ways of children, stranger still, those of grandchildren!
| A Diwali Blast! | |
| A Diwali Blast! | |
Had a blast of a Diwali this time, what with as many as THREE of my grandchildren gracing me with their company!
See for yourself!
See for yourself!
| Sweet Voices and Bittersweet Memories! | |
| Sweet Voices and Bittersweet Memories! | |
The greatness of a mother lies, among other things, in her ability in understanding her tender child's feelings and gestures. Right from birth, if a child cries, it is only the mother who knows what exactly the child is crying for; is it a sign for the mother to feed; is it out of pain, is it for cuddling, is it for sleeping, is it because of discomfort from wet clothes, or is it just because the child wants to ease itself?! What is obviously a blabbering or incoherent noise for others, is a meaningful language for the mother. Language is not a barrier between the mother and the child. I have had personal experiences of the above, seeing my daughters-in-law, Vidya and Anu, interpret and decipher each of the unclear mono-syllables of their daughters, Shreya and Sneha and every gesture they make.
I noticed that the first ever meaningful word a child usually utters generally is "Thatha"; then "Mama" and then "athai". But, I remember that Shreya"s first word was "Jay" to mean "Sanjay" her elder brother, two years elder to her. Vidya adopted a method to improve the language skill of her kids. She would treat the young one right from their birth as an adult and she will be talking to them as she would do with grown-ups, irrespective of the fact whether the child listens to her or not, understands her or not. And, guess what, it appears to be working quite well!
Once the babies started crawling, the ever-vigilant mothers Vidya and Anu started having one eye on the baby"s movements and the other on the job on hand. Both of them outwardly or ostensibly appear to be engrossed deeply in some activities, like watching T.V. or on house-hold chores or on an interesting conversation. Shreya or Sneha, taking advantage of the situation used to move out of their attention circle to indulge in some dangerous escapades, only to be saved by their mothers at the last crucial moment, thus exhibiting their keen and constant attention they bestow on the kids. It is only the mother and mother alone who can give that kind of 24x7 care and attention to their loved ones, understanding the child"s every need and protecting it from all vagaries. Hats off to all mothers!
This blog-post is the result of a thought that occured on reading a fellow-blogger, Sukanya, at the Jambav Parenting Blogs, under the caption "New Words", an elated mother on her baby trying to utter some words. Even as a tender one year waif, Shreya used to give "due respect" to her elder brother Sanjay, two years elder to her. Shreya would be playing with Sanjay"s toys or with his ball or with his things when Sanjay was not around. Once Sanjay appears in the scene, she would drop his stuff and go over to a corner of the room. In the presence of Sanjay, she would not dare to touch his toys. It speaks volumes about Sanjay"s imposing personality and leadership qualities. (More about Sanjay's leadership qualities, here!)
Shreya has a nice sweet voice. She appears to have inherited it from her grand-mother (my wife!). My wife has a golden voice (in Tamil "Vengala Kuralon") like that of the famous and celebrated singer of yester-years K.B.Sundarambal. There are no rough edges or burrs in her voice. But, though she hails from a place known for good Carnatic music, her music sense is a total zero. She is not even a bath-room singer. She does not even hum in her happy moods.
I have a rough and hard voice. I have to adjust my throat every second minute while talking, to make myself clear. I tried my hand on Vedic chanting after my retirement. It proved to be a disastrous adventure, given my jarring voice. My voice is not melodious even to me, leave alone to others. My tongue does not cooperate to pronounce the tongue-twisting Sanskrit verses. I gave up the idea after very few days of fruitless efforts.
I remember my Sanskrit teacher at High School pulling me up saying that a burning "Darbai" (a kind of grass used in religious rites by Brhamins) should be put into my mouth to scorch and make the tongue flexible. So much for my voice!
I heard that in olden days, as soon as a baby was born "Gorojanai" (a native herbal medicine) will be administered to the new born to enrich the baby's vocal cords. Probabily my wife had a dose of it, while I did not have. 
In spite of her good and clear voice without even a hint of a burr, ("Pisiru" in Tamil), she terribly lacks in her communicaion skill. I had to understand her as to what she attemps to say, only after putting half-a-dozen questions and eliciting answers, like a cross-examining counsel. Of course, she will tease me and accuse me that I have a poor understanding power and that she has to repeat a dozen times to make me understand.
One day, I had to go to my son's office on my way to a relative's house in the morning. My son's car driver was supposed to take me, as my son had already left to his office in his wife's car. The driver was waiting at the gate with the car. I was inside the house getting ready to leave. My wife in order to help me, went out, instructed the driver and then came in.(as, in her opinion, I am very poor in my communication skill) After five minutes, I came out to get into the car; but, to my surpise I found the car and the driver missing. I asked my wife as to what had happened. She told me that she had given clear instructions that "Sir (meaning myself) is coming, wait there!".
As I had to leave urgently, I hired an auto and went to my son's office where I found the car and the driver. I confronted him only to be told that my wife had told him, "Sir (meaning my son) is coming, wait there". He said, accordingly, he had come to office to pick up my son from office! Obviously, the driver thought Sir referred to my son, and not me, having already gone to office wants the car in his office to come home. There are many many such comedies of errors. The problem with her is that she thinks faster than she speaks. Or, could it be because she assumes others also are as shrewd as she is?
I was talking about the musical attainments of my wife. Let me continue. During Navarathri (a recently concluded Hindu festival), lady friends of my wife, relatives and neighbours used to visit the house in the evenings. It is a sort of get-together among the ladies. It is customary that on such occasions the ladies sing songs in praise of the Goddess and when the time for their departure comes, they will be given the traditional Thamboolam with Sundal and small gifts. My wife as usual would request the guest to sing a song. Once the distinguished visitor started singing, my wife will disappear into the kitchen to make ready the Thamboolam etc, without even pretending to listen to the music. The poor singer will be left to fend for herself. My wife obviously believes that the songs are meant for the Kolu Bommai (dolls) and those are the rightful audience and not any of us. If there are more than one guests at a time, one lady will be singing at the instance of my wife, but my wife will be engaged in chit-chatting with the others, little realising that the singer may feel insulted or offended. The worst part of the story is that my wife will insist the singer to sing another number. No offence is meant to my wife. 
Some of you may ask "Is her voice really music to your ears?" My emphatic answer is " Yes, It is!" Such a tasteless (and also tactless) lady that my wife is, astonishingly she lends her ears attentively when her (our) beloved grand-daughter Sneha with her tender voice imperfectly sang on the concluding day of Navarathiri (Saraswathi Pooja day) and enjoyed it immensely, and flaunted a proud face!
Do you wonder that my statements above are just like the prevarications and vacillations of our Hon'ble Prime Minister Dr.Manmohan Singh on the Nuke Deal or that of the Tamilnadu's Hon'ble Chief Minister Dr.Kalaiger M.Karunanidhi on Lord Rama? My answer again is "I do have the compulsion to compromise with my costituency".
What was started off as a blog-post about my grand daugher, Shreya, ended up as one on my wife. Excuse me for exceeding my brief. Do you wonder that my statements above are just like the prevarications and vacillations of our Hon'ble Prime Minister Dr.Manmohan Singh on the Nuke Deal or that of the Tamilnadu's Hon'ble Chief Minister Dr.Kalaiger M.Karunanidhi on Lord Rama? My answer again is "I do have the compulsion to compromise with my costituency".
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And, no, though the "signature" of that cartoon looks too close to my name (Vembu), and though it does seem a bit relevant to the topic of this post, ahem, ..., no, I didn't draw it. Just a relevant picture I found online! That's all. No conclusions to be drawn please!
| Move Over, Sivaji's Rajini! - Boss 2.0 is here! | |
| Move Over, Sivaji's Rajini! - Boss 2.0 is here! | |
Today, October 16, I hear, is National Boss Day, and I want to share a few incidents from the life of my grandson (Sanjay) that seem to clearly indicate that he is a real Boss in the making, already!
My grand-son, Sanjay, now a 3 year old boy, is a very firm and assertive type of fellow. Once he makes a decision, he will stick to it and will not backtrack or change it! There is no question of dilly-dallying or vacillation! He is fond of tender coconut water, curd-rice, raw cucumber, coffee, among others. His mother cannot force-feed him. Only with his consent and permission about the type of food he wants, can he even be fed. Whenever we go out for an outing in his father's (Sekar's) Honda CRV, it is he who will allot seats for each one of us. Nor can he tolerate any deviation from his directions.
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My grand-son, Sanjay, now a 3 year old boy, is a very firm and assertive type of fellow. Once he makes a decision, he will stick to it and will not backtrack or change it! There is no question of dilly-dallying or vacillation! He is fond of tender coconut water, curd-rice, raw cucumber, coffee, among others. His mother cannot force-feed him. Only with his consent and permission about the type of food he wants, can he even be fed. Whenever we go out for an outing in his father's (Sekar's) Honda CRV, it is he who will allot seats for each one of us. Nor can he tolerate any deviation from his directions.
Once my youngest son, Manikandan Vembu, boarded the car and traveled sitting in a seat against Sanjay's wish. Sanjay was very upset and all through their way he was crying and he could not be paccified. If only before boarding the car, his due permission was obtained, he would not have made a fuss.
Even when playing ball, he would name the person who should pick up the ball, and, if someone else other than the one he named happens to pick it up, he will insist that he drop the ball exactly where it was lying originally, and ask the person named by him to repick. As long as his strict demands are complied with, he will be O.K. but, if any deviation is made, you are just inviting trouble. I think he has everthing in him to become a good leader, what with such signs of decisiveness and steadfastness, at such a tender age!
And, not just that! Listen some more, and you'll know why I think he is surely going to be an adept manager in the coming decades!
He has the habit of wetting the bed while sleeping at night, sometimes. So, he will usually be in his diaper. He will be cajoled to take an afternoon nap with me whenever he is in Tambaram. I have to tell him stories to induce him to sleep, but in that process, I will myself become tired and slip into quick siesta. The story track will change and I will start blabbering in a semi-conscious state, only to be caught on the wrong foot by the ever-vigilant and alert Sanjay. Nowadays, I very badly need to narrate stories in order to get good sleep, and I think I need the telling more than my grand-kids! I strongly recommend to the senior citizens who are suffering from insomnia, not to resort to sleeping pills or listening to good music or reading books or drugs (alcoholic or otherwise); just cultivate the habit of story-telling, so that you will have a very nice sleep!
One afternoon, we both had good sleep. Sanjay was sleeping across the bed stretching his tender legs on my chest, provoking my eldest son, Sridhar Vembu, who came along, to remark:- "Appa (Dad), can you get this pleasure, even if you pay a million dollars?" And, just when Sridhar was saying this, Sanjay decided to relieve himself of accumulated urine! (Probably, he was just a bit pissed off!) As he had taken tender coconut water just before his nap, the output was profuse; with the result that both of us were drenched. Half of my dhothi was all wet. The pissing was so intense and profuse that it was like a spring from a fountain and it was directed towards my face, exactly at a time when I had a sweet dream as though I was under the Courtalam Water Falls (a South Indian Niagara!) taking a pleasant bath. Even in the dream, I remember wondering as to why the water from the Falls was not cold but warm. I woke up from the dream and slowly opened my eyes only to realise the Courtalam Water Falls was courtesy Sanjay!
After emptying his bladder, Sanjay also woke up. Before anybody could point an accusing finger towards him though, he announced that Vembu Thatha (myself) had pissed on the bed, wetting the bed and himself. I found it very hard to convince him that I was not guilty. To save my honor and to avoid being further ridicule, after much persuasion, we arrived at a compromise with him finally that neither he nor myself was the culprit, but, it was only a water bottle kept in the bed that was responsible for the rather wet state of affairs.
Sanjay even at this tender age knew the art of shifting the blame - another trait of good leadership, wouldn't you say?And, to further salt the wounds, you need to just realize that if that important clincher of a deal had not been worked out, my wife, coming to know of this incident, would only take Sanjay's words as the gospel truth, still naively thinking that children of these days, innocent (or so she thinks!) that they are, don't even KNOW how to lie!
Full Disclosure: A day may come, when Sanjay grows up, reads this blog. I want to be in his good books when he does that. Who knows, he may employ me to ghost-write his autobiography. Won't you now, my dear?
| A Sting Operation of Elephantine Proportions! | |
| A Sting Operation of Elephantine Proportions! | |
My last blog-post was about Swathi's (my grand-daughter - now aged about 7 years)memory power. She is not only known for her good memory powers, but also for her intelligence.
On the auspicious occasion of Vinayaka Chaturthy, I am particularly happy to share my friend's intimate experience. I dedicate this blog-post to my Lord Ganesa with respects.
She can speak atleast three languages, is good at solving difficult puzzles with ease, good at computer games; good at gym activities, but not so good at her eating habits. She also has the trait of perseverance.
Recently, Jambav launched Toondoo, a cartooning web site. Swathi was able to browse the site, and draw cartoons. She tried her hand at drawing her Kudumi Thatha's (myself!) caricature, as I am her favourite whipping boy. She caricatured me with a big belly, wide mouth and whatever not. She was trying to search for a suitable Kudumi in complete it, but in vain.
Mr.Raj may take note and oblige Swathi with a set of Kudumis, to complete her cartoon. Though the site has many types of mustaches, mouths, eyes, hair styles etc., the Kudumi is miserably missing in the list.
Now,I am reminded of my close friend's kids. He is not very talented and not bestowed with a very good I.Q either. He is a rustic. But his kids are all sparklingly intelligent and very good in their scholastic career. I had occasion to interact with them and they are all simply fantastic in their knowledge.
Being my close friend, I asked him what is the secret of his sons' achievements. I thought that he would attribute it to some genetic factor, or for their hardwork or for their upbringing. But he had a strange reason to attribute for their success. In fact, it was the first time he had shared such a secret with me. I do not know whether I am committing a breach of trust in revealing it here.
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A day after his marriage with a semi-literate village girl, the nuptial ceremony took place in his ancestral village house. On that night, after settling down into a brief conversation with his newly wed wife, the first thing to happen was that some insect had fallen on his belly from the roof. Shocked, he pushed it aside, jumped up from his bed, switched on the light and found that the insect was a poisonous scorpion! He tried to kill it, but his newly wedded wife pleaded not to harm it, saying that the sight of that scorpion on that particular night was a good omen! She is an ardent Ganesa Bakthai (devotee of Lord Ganesha). So also are my friend and his family. She said that she believed that the scorpion was sent by Lord Ganesa himself to bless them. So long as it did not sting with its poisonous tail, it should be taken that Lord Ganesa has come symbolically to bless them, that too by falling on the belly, a reproductive organ, so to speak! My friend allowed it to escape but only after cutting its poisonous tail off. He also cracked a joke on his newly-wed wife that she had brought it specially to frighten him on the first day of their married life! What a dramatic start of their married life it must have been!
Strangely on the second night also the scorpion (now without its tail) had made an appearance! His wife strongly believes that Lord Ganesa whom she devotedly worshipped had blessed them bountifully through the scorpion. He concluded that that is the reason for his siblings to be extraordinarily successful! He strongly believes that they were destined to achieve something remarkable and do epoch-making history!
It is customary in villages that if a scorpion is sighted, we believe that Lord Ganesa has visited the house and the women in the house will make Modakam, his favourite delicacy, to propitiate Him.
Strangely on the second night also the scorpion (now without its tail) had made an appearance! His wife strongly believes that Lord Ganesa whom she devotedly worshipped had blessed them bountifully through the scorpion. He concluded that that is the reason for his siblings to be extraordinarily successful! He strongly believes that they were destined to achieve something remarkable and do epoch-making history!
It is customary in villages that if a scorpion is sighted, we believe that Lord Ganesa has visited the house and the women in the house will make Modakam, his favourite delicacy, to propitiate Him.
On the auspicious occasion of Vinayaka Chaturthy, I am particularly happy to share my friend's intimate experience. I dedicate this blog-post to my Lord Ganesa with respects.
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